I Entertain You

To SeaWorld Orlando,
Florida, USA

Comments: Dear Fish People
I am famous Fish Wrestler from Turkmenistan. I want to wrestle for your benefit. I have a video of me wrestling giant squid. Is big battle. I win!!! Please show on TV and amaze yourself. I will send, you tell me where.
El Georgio
Interpreted by Albert Swinehinderson



Subject: RE: I Entertain You

Dear El Georgio:

Thanks for contacting SeaWorld Orlando. We always appreciate hearing from our guests and friends. I have forwarded your email to our Entertainment Department so that they are aware of your request.

Sincerely, Linda

SeaWorld Orlando


To El Georgio,

Arron, Dave wrote:


El Giogio,

What a unique e-mail to receive, thanks for your interest in SeaWorld. If you have any promotional footage available, sent to the attention of Muffett Baker of our Talent Resources area. We'll look forward to giving it a review for future consideration.

Thanks again,
Dave

Dave Arron

Talent Resources SeaWorld Orlando Entertainment


Dear Seaworld
Thank you. I send video of most recent match with giant squid. Not great film, cameraman drink too much. Still exciting. Do I live or die…?
Little splash, big splash, no splash, bubbles, big splash…, I win!!!
Now I train for biggest fish. I flip dolphin now. I can wrestle whale soon. (For fun, not to death.) I cover all bets against me. 10 to 1. Last year I beat large-mouth bass barehanded. No gill hooks!!! Exciting match. Big tail slap, twist dorsal fin. He bite and hang on like ugly face on frog, I pinch belly, he cry. I win!!!
No film, just drawings.
I never lose.
What format should I send?

El Georgio
Translated by Albert Swinehinderson
><((((((”>


To El Georgio,

Arron, Dave wrote:
Thanks el Georgio, dvd would be best, or vhs too..whatever is easiest for you.

Dave Arron
Talent Resources
SeaWorld Orlando Entertainment



Thanks Dave Arron,

Please give an address to send it to. I send it by mail next week. My family is very excited to come to SeaWorld. Thank you. Can I park my trailer next to the big aquarium for best view? I have fish tails on side of trailer so I fit in and look like exhibit. We also have platform on top to sit and make announcements and get tan. You can come and tan too.

Thanks, El Georgio
Translated by Albert Swinehinderson


Hello El Georgio,

Send to:

Dave Arron
Talent Resource
SeaWorld Orlando
7007 SeaWorld Dr.
Orlando, Fl 32821

I'll review and see if this is something we can use at the park..no promises as
a lot of talent promos come our way...continued thanks El Georgio for your
interest in Seaworld.

Dave

Dave Arron
Talent Resources
SeaWorld Orlando Entertainment






To; Dave Arron,
SeaWorld Orlando Talent,

Dear Mr. Arron
I sent the DVD, you will get it soon. Please tell me when you see it. If you jump like others, I will be in big demand at your facility. I will perform four times daily and six times on weekends. Which fish will I wrestle? Bigger is more exciting for people to see. I will not kill any, we ate squid in film so was OK. Bad squid anyway. Live in shallow water and catch raccoons. I do raccoons a favour.
I am available for three months after February 10th. I would like spotty soup on Sundays.
El Georgio

Translated By Albert Swinehinderson.

Two Minutes Later Another e-mail to Dave Arron

To; Dave Arron,
SeaWorld Orlando Talent,


Translator’s correction,
In the previous email, please exchange “spotty soup on Sundays” for “to thank you very much.”
Thank You
Albert Swinehinderson



One week passes with no reply

Dear Dave Arron,
I hope you like my wrestling match with the raccoon eating squid. As you can tell, I use the traditional fish wrestling method of using my head for bait. Happily, I was able to get back my raccoon hat from the belly of the squid, unlike Uncle Vladimir, who did not recover any of his hair after he miscalculated the size of the shark and the tastiness of his chum shampoo in his last match.
I hope we will entertain you. We will not hurt any of your fish, I will be strictly punch and release. (Unless you have a special message you want me to deliver. Maybe a flat-fish dissed you?)
Please let me know. My wrestling year is almost full.
Thanks
El Georgio

Another week passes with no reply

Dear Mr Arron,
I must apologize for the inaccuracies of my latest translations regarding Mr. El Georgio. At present he is convinced that I have said something insulting or offensive towards you. If that is the case, it was not intended. Mr. El Georgio is widely respected in his home country and does not understand your delay in returning his query to perform at your venue. This has never happened before and he finds it perplexing. He is becoming more agitated daily. He accuses me of not sending the DVD as we have had no confirmation since we sent it. Soon he will be raging and fretting continuously causing me to work even longer hours only to translate swear words for his Canadian hosts. He has even taken to silly-sassing the goldfish while dressed in his wrestling garb. It is not a pretty sight, especially when his robe falls open.
Please let Mr. El Georgio know if you will be booking him or if he should accept an offer from Patagonia World in Argentina for his winter season.
Your kind answer would be most appreciated.
Thank You,
Albert Swinehinderson



To Albert Swinehinderson

Albert,

We appreciate all those who show interest in performing at our park, including Mr. El Georgio. I just today received the DVD, so thank you for sending it. Although we do not currently have any openings or events suitable for El Georgio's talents, you never know when something might turn up. This is the response we often have to give to artists initially inquiring about employment, simply because be have to budget and plan for events and performances far in advance (over a year most times).

Right now, I'd encourage El Georgio to continue taking dates and wish him a very successful season. I'll keep all his information filed for easy access should something turn up in the future.

On behalf of Talent Resources at SeaWorld, I again extend my thanks.

Best,
Dave Arron